The stories he could tell! Jonathan, a Seychelles Giant Tortoise who is the oldest currently living known land animal.
They suspect his hatching date is in 1832, so at time of writing, he would be 186 years old!! That is a ridiculous age to live to, which shows that maybe being super slow and lazy helps the batteries last longer (well that’s my excuse).
Another twist to this incredible story is Jonathan’s quest for love. Here he is seen getting down with Fredrica and has been doing so for the last 26 years, however, it was recently discovered that Frederica, is actually a Frederic. They didn’t realize the sex only up until recently but that hasn’t stopped their wild love affair. Still a better love story than Twilight.
More info on this timeless old chap here – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jonathan_(tortoise)